My Only Reason
by Demented Koneko
Summary: Kai realizes how empty he feels and begins to wonder if there's any point in his continuing existence. After attempting suicide, it seems that Tyson is the only person able to save him. TyKai
1. To Escape the Emptiness

**Authors Notes: **A Tykai fic I first started writing sometime last year. Contains an angsty/suicidal Kai.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade.

**My only Reason **

Chapter 1: To Escape the Emptiness

The blue haired young man let out a soft sigh as he sat at his desk placing his signature on what seemed like an endless amount of paper that meant perfectly nothing to him. Now sixteen, he had inherited his family's business – or rather his Grandfathers. He was a hard worker and made the company large sums of money each day. But he didn't care. In fact he didn't want anything to do with running the Company whatsoever. The only reason he had accepted the task was because he had nothing better to do.

After the world championships he had given up on Beyblading. Beyblading had been the entire basis of his life since he was small child, his reason for being alive. Now that he had abandoned it, what else was there to do? Without Beyblading he had nothing; no important task to complete, no ultimate goal to strive towards. Really running the company was his only purpose and even then he wasn't particularly needed for that seeing that if anything was ever to happen to him he could easily be replaced.

Once again he sighed wishing that the documents in front of him would miraculously take care of themselves allowing him to leave and return home. Although why he wanted to go he wasn't sure as at home he did nothing with the exception of reading and even that had lost its appeal. Basically he was trapped in a vicious cycle of working six days a week, having one day off then back to work for six days straight with no real will or desire to escape.

Suddenly he was awoken from his thoughts by the beep of his intercom.

"What is it?" He asked, monotonously.

"Sorry to interrupt you sir, but there is a Mr. Granger on the line." stated a female voice on the other end. "Shall I tell him you are busy?"

Kai blinked in surprise. Tyson? Why would his ex-team mate be calling him? "No put him through."

"Yes sir."

Kai picked up the phone and was greeted by a loud cheerful voice. "Heya Kai! How are ya?"

He remained silent for a moment, allowing the familiar voice to register in his mind. "Tyson, it's been a long time."

"Yep, that's why I'm calling. I'm having a get together with the others and it'd be great if you'd come," He gave small laugh. "The Blade breakers reunited!"

Kai bit his lip. "Um I don't know if…"

"Aw come on! It's this weekend at mines. Please come, Kai!" pleaded the boy on the other line.

"This weekend? Sorry I don't think I can make it, I have a lot of work to do and…"

"You said that last time!" cried Tyson interrupting him.

He frowned. It was true. However he did have his reasons.

"Come on, the others and I haven't seen you for ages!"

"I know and I'm sorry, but running a company requires a great amount of time and I have a mountain worth of work to do." he replied trying to sound as apologetic as possible.

"Couldn't you get someone to cover for you? I mean how many guys do you have working there?"

He frowned. "This is something… only I can deal with."

He heard Tyson sigh on the other line. "Yeah sure. Well if you change your mind…"

"Yeah… Well I better get back to work." he replied, feeling slightly guilty.

"Oh. Okay. Well it was nice talking to you," said the other boy sounding quite disappointed. "Ja ne."

"Bye."

He placed down the phone and continued his exciting task of reading over and writing his name on the many documents.

He felt annoyed that Tyson had called him. Why had he wanted him to come? If they wanted to relive their old glory days as a team they could easily do it without him. After all it wasn't like he was a loud and happy person who talked about things long past with great enthusiasm. It wasn't like they missed him. Wasn't like Tyson missed him…

His team-mates were something of the past and like most things they meant nothing to him. Didn't they? He let out a small moan, feeling a headache coming on.

_Damnit__, I really don't want to deal with this right now. I don't even care what's written on these pieces of crap. I'm just going to sign all of them and get the hell out of here as fast as I can._

* * *

By the time he returned home, his headache had increased making him curse this wretched day.

"Sir your dinner is ready. Shall I have someone serve it to you now?" asked one of the butlers as he took his master's coat.

"No I'm not hungry. I'm going to retire to my chambers for the night. Inform me if anything comes up." he said making his way up the staircase.

"Of course, Sir."

He knew starving himself wouldn't do his head any good and that he should take some aspirin to dim the pain, but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to retreat to his room and escape from the world.

Kai let himself fall back on the bed, and groaned. He stared helplessly at the ceiling while many a thoughts rushed through his mind. He had no idea where all these thoughts had came from in the slightest. He had once been so good at clearing his mind, not thinking of anything, spending the majority of his time perfecting his Beyblading skills.

Slowly he pulled himself up right and walked over to the drawer chest across the other side of the room. He opened the drawer and rummaged through it until he came across what he was looking for – a photograph of himself with his team-mates. It felt so long since then. Tyson had been right. It had been along while since they had all been together. He had no intention of seeing them again however. Beyblading was a thing of the past. He no longer needed them and they sure as hell didn't need him. But still, now that he had given up Beyblading he felt something missing. What it had been he did not know. What he did know however was that it had once been there and now it was gone. But why should he care? He was empty. Always had been, always would be.

He snickered bitterly at himself. It bothered him that his life was so meaningless, yet he was supposedly empty. Stupidity. How the hell was that supposed to work. His company didn't matter to him. His ex-teammates didn't matter to him. Nothing matter. Really, what was the point in even living anymore? It wasn't even living. It was basically a case of going through each day with no real purpose until the day that he died. And being the healthy young man that he was, unless he died in some sort of accident it was likely to be a long time before his body decided to keel over, and waiting until that time wasn't something that particularly appealed to him. In fact only one thing appealed to him at the moment and time and the thought had only just entered him mind. Life was meaningless and he no longer wished to spend the rest of his days like this…

Yes! Why hadn't he ever thought of it before? He read about it all the time in the papers, and heard about it on the news all the time. Suicide – were a person willing took his or her own life. Granted a lot of the stories he read were sad, especially when friends and family of the person voiced out their grief over the death, but he of course had no one to miss him, no one to cry over his death. There was nothing to keep him in this world with perhaps the exception of his own emptiness, if that was even a reason at all.

For the first time in what seemed like years, Kai smiled. It was the perfect solution and why he hadn't thought of it sooner was beyond him. Sure he wasn't one of those depressed kids who seemed to be complete experts on the subject but he imagined taking ones life wouldn't prove too much difficulty. In fact the very thought enticed the detached young man.

Quickly he rushed to the bathroom within his chambers deciding that it was now or never. Calmly he searched through the cupboard till he came across the sharpest razorblade he could find. Satisfied with the one he had chosen, he took a deep breath and sat himself on the edge of the bathtub, slowly pulling up his left shirt sleeve to his elbow.

After sitting there for a few moments he found that it wasn't as easy as he had thought. He bit his lip, conflicting emotions rising within him. It was if something were holding him back. He stared down at his pale arm, tracing the small tinted lines of blue. Supposedly there was a correct way from slitting ones wrists. Which way it was of course he did not know. He would just force the blade deeply into his skin and hope for the best – the best being slicing opened an artery and bleeding himself to death.

Again he smiled as he picked up the blade, holding no fear. He disliked showing fear. He wouldn't fear death, he would embrace it. He placed the blade gently against his arm and slid it across his skin. He leaned back, his breathing deepening. So maybe being completely unafraid had been a lie… When he looked back down his eyes widened at how deep a gash he had made. He was sure he hadn't he cut that hard. He dug it in again, this time harder and this time causing him pain. It looked down at the razor he was holding, its blade covered in blood. It sure was sharp…

He smiled, satisfied with his choice and watched as the liquid the same colour as his eyes leak out of his arm. He now grasped the blade quite tightly and slid it against his skin a lot more forcefully. He gave aloud gasp, his wrist stinging painfully. He tried to ignore the pain and focus on the fact that soon all the emptiness he felt would disappear.

His body slid down and he used the side of the bathtub to support his weight. He gave a small chuckle, his shirt and trousers now covered in blood. _Guess that will leave a stain. _

He had never realised how beautiful the crimson liquid was, never bothered to think about it yet it had been flowing through his veins all these years. He was surprised at just how much was leaking from his wounds, like a never-ending flowing river.

The light of the room started to dim quite a bit. It would all be over soon…

"Kai! Hey, Kai, are you here?" yelled a voice. His eyes shot open, instantly recognising who the voice belonged to.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Kai, are you in there? Your butler dude said you where in your room."

Fuck. What the hell was Tyson doing here! How the hell was he supposed to explain this to him? Maybe he could say he was having a bath, and Tyson would just go home. Or even if he did decide to wait, he would be dead before Tyson would see him and what he'd done.

He heard Tyson grab on the door knob and instantly panic swept over him. He hadn't locked the door!

"Kai, I'm coming in." Before he even got the chance to yell at him not to come in, the door had already been opened.

Just as Tyson was about to venture into the bathroom he stopped abruptly at the door way, horrified by the bloody sight he saw lying on the floor. "Ka-Kai?" he asked his voice quavering.

Shit! Shit! Shit! This wasn't supposed to happen. No one was supposed to find him until he was actually dead! Especially not Tyson!

T-Tyson, I…"

The other boy could barely utter a response, unable to believe what he was seeing. "Ka-Kai, wha-what happened?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. How could he possibly answer that question?

Tyson's eyes flickered to the small puddle of blood on the floor where the crimson soaked razor lay. "Kai… You-you didn't…" Kai started down at the floor, unable to look Tyson in the face.

Still not looking up he could hear Tyson staggering out of the bathroom. It seemed like he had scared the boy off. Did that mean he could die here alone like he wanted?

The answer was no; as Tyson came rushing straight back in. "Ha-hang on, Kai," He said, his voice trembling. "The ambulance will be here soon."

"Why the hell did you call an ambulance?" growled Kai, weakly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why can't you just leave me here? Why can't you just let me die?"

The words struck Tyson hard, his eyes widening even more. How-how could he possibly be saying such a thing? His face screwed up and suddenly he erupted into tears, unable to comprehend what was going on. Kai remained silent, not knowing what to say. There was nothing he could say…

The navy hair boy was grasped on to the sink, trying to maintain his balance. He was sobbing heavily.

"Why… How can you say such thing? What could possibly be so horrible that you want to die?"

Kai still could bring himself to look at the boy, his eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. "Because there is no reason for me to continue on living."

"What? What the hell are you talking about! You have hundreds of reasons to live. What about your friends? What about me…?"

But there was no reply, the sliver haired boy already unconscious.

**Authors Notes: **I hope that was alright and not too bad. Any reviews or advice upon how I could improve my writing would be greatly appreciated. Arigato for reading!


	2. An Unfortunate Failure

**Author's Notes: **Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out, I really meant to post it a lot sooner. Thank you for all the reviews. I really didn't think I'd get many people reading this fic at all. So arigato. smile

I just hope this chapter is alright, and I didn't screw it up.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade.

Chapter 2: An Unfortunate Failure

The first thing he saw when he woke up was sickening whiteness, and the first thought after seeing this was, was he dead? But a few moments later when his senses came through he could hear a beeping noise. As his eyes un-blurred, he realised the whiteness he saw was the colour of the ceiling and the beeping was coming from the heart monitor sitting next to him. He was in a hospital.

"Damn." He groaned. Although the details of what happened were still a bit hazy in his mind, he could remember Tyson walking in the bathroom and finding out what he had done. He couldn't remember anything after that.

"Oh my, Mr. Hiwatari, you are finally awake." came a voice. Kai turned his attention to the door where a middle aged woman stood wearing a white uniform. Obviously she was a nurse.

"Yes, I'm awake, isn't that wonderful…" he muttered under his breath sarcastically.

"Here, let me check your blood pressure." She said as she lifted one of his arms. She gave him a sympathetic smile and Kai had to force himself not to glare at her. "Your friends are really worried about you, you know. That blue haired boy has been here since you were first brought in. He refuses to leave."

The nurse opened her mouth to say something else but quickly stopped herself as if thinking better of it. Kai assumed that it was no doubt something that would make him feel even guiltier.

"Well I'm sure they will be delighted to know that you are finally awake. I will go inform the Doctor of your condition."

She suddenly stopped as she reached the door. "Would you like anything, dear?" she asked kindly. Her kindness was ignored however as cynically he thought "How about a knife?"

"No, thank you." With that, she nodded and left.

He let out a heavy sigh, not able to believe that this was all really happening. It was like some awful dream; one he desperately wanted to awake from.

Suddenly the door opened again, only this time it was Tyson. The speed in which the boy came rushing in made it seem as if he were trying to escape some unspeakable terror.

"Kai, thank God, you're alive!" he cried wrapping his arms tightly around the blue haired boy. Kai stiffed at the sudden contact.

"I'm glad to see that you're alright." said another voice. Kai looked up to see another of his ex-teammates Rei standing there.

"Same here." added the small boy Kenny, standing next to Rei. "I'm just after talking to the nurse and she said that you'll be just fine."

Kai felt the arms around him slacken and pull away. Biting down gently on his lip he turned his head to look at Tyson, shocked by the expression on the boy's face. Tears filled his eyes and they had already been puffed up making it look like he had been crying for hours.

"Kai, how could you? Why did you want to- What possessed you to do such a thing?" He had asked him that same question before he had passed out and again he found that he could not answer. He wanted to look away so much, but couldn't bring himself to do so. Those eyes filled with so much sorrow, so much pain…

_Tyson…_

"What are you boy's doing in here?" yelled a voice. Everyone looked around to see Kai's Doctor storming in. "This young man needs his rest. You should not be in here so I ask that all of you leave right now."

Tyson opened his mouth to argue but Rei quickly stepped in, knowing that with Tyson that upset the boy was a bound to overreact. "We apologise Doctor but we wanted to make sure that our friend was alright. We were just so worried that we wanted to see him. You can understand that can't you?"

The Doctor sighed. "Alright, alright, but I'm afraid you'll have to leave for now. My patient needs his rest."

Tyson frowned disappointedly but nodded before turning back to Kai.

Tyson still had that look on his face and for some reason it pierced at the crimson eyed boy's heart. "Kai, I'll be back soon, okay." He nodded uneasily, not sure if the Tyson expected him to say something.

Rei and Kenny also said their goodbyes before leaving. As they reached the door, he could see the Chinese blader looking at him from the corner of his eye. His expression was nothing like Tyson's but it wasn't necessarily anger either. It was unreadable, and he was pretty much sure this is what the others must have felt like when they looked at his usual impassive face.

Kai let out a sigh as they left. He really didn't want to deal with this. His intention had been to never deal with something like this ever again…

* * *

The hours rolled by and one of the many thoughts that Kai had on his mind was that he had failed and he realised that his desires for Beyblading and dying were two completely different things. When he lost a beyblade match he would just train himself a lot more vicariously than before. Killing himself on the other hand wasn't exactly something one could train for. His Doctor had tried talking to him earlier and suggested that he should see a psychologist to discuss his problems with. He drowned it out of course. What he needed wasn't a damn psychologist but a purpose for living.

Killing himself would be easy enough to try again, but… He cursed out loud. Ever since he had seen that look on Tyson's face he couldn't get the boy out of his head. In his mind he kept on replaying Tyson asking why he had tried killing himself, making it sound like it was the most horrible thing in the world.

How could Tyson possibly understand? They were two completely different people. Tyson was something he was not and so Tyson could never understand.

He sighed, knowing that he would have to deal with him again in the morning.

He closed his eyes in an attempt to get some sleep when suddenly he heard the door crack open. Damn it wasn't that nurse again was? He kept his eyes shut. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep she would…

"Kai." whispered a voice. The voice he heard was definitely not the one he was expecting to hear. He opened his eyes as soon as he heard the bedside lamp being clicked on.

"What are you doing here? I'm pretty sure that visiting hours are way over by now." He stated looking up to see Rei standing over him.

"They are, but I wanted to come and see how you're doing." The other boy replied.

"I'm surprised they let you in."

"They didn't, but this is really the only time I could get to talk to you in private." said the Chinese blader as he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

"I'm honoured." replied Kai flatly.

"Well I'd ask how you're feeling but given the situation and what you're just after doing, that would be a very stupid question." said Rei, his voice taking a lot more serious tone. "I haven't seen you in along time so it's pretty much impossible for me to think back in time and analyze your behaviour to give me some insight into why you would attempt suicide."

Kai snorted. "Thinking of becoming a psychologist or something?"

Rei ignored him. "So why don't you tell me."

"I'm not in the talking mood."

"You're never in talking mood Kai, but all this time you've spent not talking to someone has clearly led to this." He didn't reply.

Sighing, Rei moved closer to the bed. "Look Kai, I just want to help you. Now tell me why you did it."

"I don't need your help, Rei!" He spat back angrily. "What I do is none of your goddamn business."

"No Kai. What you just did is everyone's business, or at least everyone who cares about you. So I'll ask you again-"

"I thought the answer to that question would be fairly obvious. I wanted to die."

The other boy groaned in frustration. "I don't get it. Why the hell are you so intent on keeping everyone out!"

"What I don't understand is why you want to know so much! I mean isn't there something better you could be doing like your little blade breakers reunion."

"Well you know after you doing what you did, it kind of ruined the mood." Rei replied bitterly.

"Is that why you're here? To find out the cause that destroyed your fun and get your own back?"

The raven haired boy sighed. "You know, for someone who acts so cool and makes it seem like he knows just about everything there is to know you can be a real idiot. The reason for me being here is because I care about you and that you're my friend."

Kai gave an amused smirk. "Since when have we ever been friends? You're just an old team-mate that's all."

"I am your friend, Kai and I'll always be your friend. If I wasn't I wouldn't be here. I care about you, Kenny and Max care about you, and especially Tyson. Kenny and I had to practically drag him out of the hospital earlier. He's hardly gotten any sleep and has barely stopped crying. You couldn't possibly understand what you've put him through." He stated, trying to repress the anger in his voice of seeing Tyson going through all this.

The crimson eyed boy snorted and turned away. "And why should I care? It's my problem not his. He shouldn't get upset over something so stupid."

"That's bullshit!" Rei clenched his teeth, restraining himself from punching Kai in the face and knocking some goddamn sense into him. "You try to push everyone away, isolate yourself and because of that you believe you have only yourself. That's why killing yourself was the only solution you could come up with for the problem.

"You need people Kai, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. And I know you care about others. I saw the way you looked at Tyson today; the guilt… the shock on your face from seeing what your attempted suicide reduced him to."

"You don't know anything!" yelled the ex-beyblader, loosing control of his emotions.

"I see what's clearly there. You're the one who needs to open his eyes and look around."

"Shut up! Stop pretending like you know me!" Why was it that Rei was making him so angry? He rarely ever lost his cool.

"No Kai, I don't know you. You won't show anyone the real you. And judging from this conversation I'm pretty sure you don't know that person either." The Chinese boy stated sadly.

"Get out…" Rei's stupid logic was severely pissing him off.

"Tyson's seen a glimpse of that person though, I'm sure of it. That's why seeing you like this hurts him so much."

"This is all there is to me. Whatever else you think Tyson saw is all in his imagination." He replied in low voice.

"No, I think what he saw is true. And I believe Tyson is the one who can help you." The other boy was about to retaliate, when a faint smile appeared on Rei's face. "And knowing Tyson he won't give up until he has."

With a swift movement, he had clicked off the lamp and left the room leaving Kai in the dark.

The boy cursed out loud and turned over. "Idiot. What the hell does he know?" he spat.

Eventually he let out a soft sigh. "Tyson…"

He was shocked to find that he had unknowingly wrapped his arms around himself. _Why does he care so much? What's so special about me? Why when he has everyone else? _

He curled into a small ball. "…Why?"

**Author's Notes: **Poor Kai… Poor Tyson… Thanks for reading. Reviews and any advice on how I can improve are greatly appreciated.


	3. An Unexpected House Guest

**Authors Notes: **Nyah, again I apologize for taking so long to update! Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. blush

**Disclaimer :**I do not own Beyblade.

Chapter 3: An Unexpected House Guest

After the Chinese blader had left, Kai was treated to a night of restless sleep, not able to get what Rei had discussed with him out of his mind. But there was no way what he said was true. He knew next to nothing about him. Still...he had a lingering feeling deep within his sub-conscious that the boy may have been right.

When he did finally manage to get to sleep the Nurse woke him and offered -or rather forced- breakfast on him. Noticing the sour look on his face she announced that visiting hours were soon hoping to cheer her patient up. Kai on the other hand felt the exact opposite when she told him. The thought of seeing the navy haired boy made his stomach churn. He knew something was definitely wrong. Not even in his most important beyblade matches did he feel as bad as this.

He was suddenly motivated to fulfil the irrational idea of jumping out the window and escaping; although considering he was on the tenth floor that probably wasn't such a good idea. Then again, if he still wanted to die... However the nagging of the Nurse ordering him to eat made him forget the idea.

A few hours later the same Nurse popped her head in and informed him that one of his friends was here to visit him. Tyson then walked in, a fake smile plastered on his face. "Hey, Kai."

"Uh..hi." His already churning stomach became even worse when he saw Tyson close the door. That meant he was on his own and probably wanted to talk in private about what the crimson eyed boy had done.

Tyson pulled up a chair and sat it close to Kai's bed. "Um, so how are you feeling today?" For some reason having Tyson that close made him feel even tenser.

"I…I'm alright."

"That's good." Another fake smile.

The there was silence…

…And more silence…

The pale boy twitched slightly, not sure what was worse; the silence or having Tyson get upset again and start yelling at him.

"Kai..."

"Yeah?"

The smaller boy breathed in deeply. "Why did you do it? Why did you try to kill yourself?"

Yeah, the silence had definitely been better.

He bit down on his lip. Again, how was he supposed to answer that? Especially to Tyson who for some reason was extremely distraught over the whole thing.

"Kai?"

"I…I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? To do something like that you must have had a reason." He stated sadly.

Kai was unable to look him in the face. "It just felt like the right thing to do."

"The right thing..? How the hell could that possibly be the right!" demanded Tyson. The light haired boy flinched.

"If you felt like that you-you should have talked to someone!" Tears filled his eyes. "You could have talked to me if you were feeling this bad. I-I would have helped you…"

"Tyson-"

"Why didn't you just ask? Why do you always have to do everything by yourself?"

_Because in the end, I'm all I have._

"It's my fault isn't it? You needed help and I wasn't there for you." he whimpered weakly. "I-I think about you a lot, you know. I've always wondered if you're lonely, but I never thought you'd do something like this. It's all my fault."

"What! No it's-"

"I'm so sorry. I'm such an awful friend. I should have been there for you! I'm so sorry Kai…" The boy was practically crying his eyes out now. "God, I'm so sorry…"

Kai stared at the sobbing boy, eyes wide with disbelief. Tyson was blaming himself for what he did? But how the hell could it possibly been his fault? He was the one who had decided to end his own life. He was the one who had slit his wrists.

"No. It was all me. Nothing of this was to do with you. I…I'm the one who should be sorry. I never meant for you to see me like that…"

The other boy flinched at the memory of seeing his friend on the floor covered in blood.

"I'm sorry I hurt you so much."

Tyson opened his mouth and let out what seemed to be a mixture of a sob and laugh. "Idiot. You should be worrying about yourself." Kai blinked in confusion. "I won't lie. I won't deny that what you did hurt me so much. But what I really care about is seeing you get better."

"Tyson…"

"I swear I'll do whatever I can to help you." He stopped and wiped the tears away from his eyes. "I promise that from now on I'll always be there for you no matter what."

Kai just sat there, still greatly confused. Why? Why the hell did he care so much about someone like him? But before he could contemplate more on the matter a pair arms tightly wrapped themselves around him. The person to who the arms belonged to started to cry again. "It'll be alright, I promise."

"I don't understand…" the crimson eyed boy whispered softly. He felt something wet run down his cheek. At first he believed it to be one of Tyson's tears falling on him, but after a few moments he realised that the tear belonged to him.

He gazed down at the smaller boy, feeling his stomach flutter. He felt so warm… It would be nice to have someone hold you like this all the time.

He was confused on why he thought that, but decided to let it slip, allowing himself to continue enjoying the warmth.

"Thank you…"

* * *

A couple of days later, he was free to leave the hospital. But as he had suspected, he wasn't getting off scot free with what he did. The Doctor had given him a severe talking to - not that Kai had really taken in what he was saying – and believed it to be the stress of running a company at such a young age that had drove him to attempt suicide. Although he knew that to be completely inaccurate he nodded at the statement, not wanting to get into an argument over the whole thing. He had also been persuaded - forced – to take a few months vacation from work to recover mentally. He had objected at first, but didn't push it. Unlike a lot of CEO'S, he didn't particularly care about the company that much as really it was his Grandfather's. The only reason why he worked so hard was because he had nothing better to do.

He knew he would have to deal with reporters bombarding him with questions about his little escapade. Thankfully the two words 'No comment' would save him from having to answer any of their obscene and annoying questions.

The servants and maids all greeted him with curious and sympathetic looks when he got home. Not wanting to deal with it, he went straight to his room. He knew the second he left, they would be whispering and gossiping about him but he found it hard to give a damn. Despite having been stuck in a bed for the past few days, all he wanted to do was go to sleep. Deep down he still wished for the preposterous possibility that when he went to sleep he would wake up and discover it had all been a dream.

When he reached his room he decided to take a shower before going to sleep as he felt incredibly dirty. He stopped in front of the bathroom door, pausing a few moments before going in. He sighed and opened the door. Hesitantly he switched on the light, expecting to find blood all over the floor and sink, despite the obvious fact that someone would have cleaned it up long ago. Cursing his own stupidity, he shed himself of his clothes and got in the shower.

He let out a small sigh of relief as he felt the water flow down skin. It was rather refreshing. However as soon as he stepped out of the shower he realised that not even that feeling would do anything to help him with his problems. He stood there for a few moments, dripping wet, making no move to dry himself. He stared numbly at nothing at all, ignoring his body's plead for warmth.

Looking up, his eyes settled on the cabinet. They widened and without even thinking his legs moved towards it. He opened the cabinet and apprehensively reached for the top shelf pulling something down. In his hand was a razorblade. The last one he had held had been covered in blood; his blood.

He bit down on his lip, the same yearning he had experienced before, returning. That longing to die, the desire to see his pale skin covered in that crimson liquid. It would be easy. All he had to do was cut deeper and open up the scars he already had. It was so easy…So simple… They itched with anticipation. They desired to feel the sharp cold blade against them, to be drained of the substance that dwelt within them.

His lip was now bleeding from biting down so hard. He could do this. He would. He rushed to lock the door when suddenly the image of the navy haired boy flashed in his mind. "Tyson…" Abruptly he stopped. If he went through with this he would cause the boy a great deal of pain, even more so than before. He frowned and let the razorblade slip through his fingers. No he couldn't do this. He could hurt Tyson more than he already had.

_"I promise that I'll always be there for you no matter what." _The boy's voice echoed in his mind.

He cursed out loud and quickly tossed the blade back into the cabinet. Hastily he left the bathroom and without even drying himself or changing into his pyjamas he crawled into bed. He felt horribly pathetic. Only a week ago has things been normal. He went to work and got on with his day never once questioning his life. Now he was deemed depressed, suicidal and couldn't choose whether to kill himself or not in fear of hurting his ex team-mate.

"How long have things been like this? How long have I felt this way?"

_"It'll be alright I promise." _

He snorted and shoved his face into the pillow. "Liar…"

* * *

Kai awoke early the next morning. He looked at the digits on the clock through heavy eyes and was just about to rush up and start getting ready for work when he realised it would be a long while before he had to worry about getting up work. He sighed and let his head fall back against the pillow. Usually, one would get great pleasure out of knowing that they wouldn't have to get up early and had the day off, but to Kai it meant that he would have nothing to occupy his mind with. He could lie in bed all day and it wouldn't matter. It wasn't like he was wasting time, because he had nothing else to invest his time into.

When he was running to company he was at least doing something with himself, but now he had no purpose. Nothing that he did would matter from now on.

He lay there for over an hour before he got up, the loud chirping birds outside his window grating on his nerves. He showered and dressed, then had breakfast before heading over to the library. He picked up a random book, not even glancing at the title of it. He didn't particularly care what it was about just as long as it would distract him and take his mind off of current events.

But before he could get the chance to finish even the first sentence, one of the maids entered the room. "I apologise Sir, but you have a visitor at the door."

He sighed and got up. "Alright."

_It better not be another damn reporter._

After placing the unknown book on the table he followed the maid out of the room.

His eyes widened in surprise when he saw who was standing there.

"Hiya Kai!" The voice of course belonged to none other than the navy haired and hyperactive boy, Tyson.

"Ty-Tyson? What are you doing here?"

The boy chuckled at the confused look on his friend's face. "To see you of course. Hey, um, do you think you could give me a hand with these bags?" asked Tyson, moving aside to reveal the two large suitcases which where behind him.

The confusion on Kai's face grew even more. "Well if I'm going be living with you, I'm gonna need clothes and stuff."

"Oh…"

Then it finally settled in.

"What! Living with!"

"Hai!" he cried, hooking one of his arms around Kai's neck. "Say hello to your new housemate!"

**Authors Notes: **I hope this chapter was alright. Thanks you lots for reading! Any reviews or advice on how I can improve are greatly appreciated.


	4. Awkward Situation

**Authors Notes: **Yay, it didn'ttake me as longas it usually does toupdate! Thank you lots to everyone who has reviewed so far.

In answer to DJ Phoenix's question, a CEO (short for Chief executive officer) is the highest ranking executive in company. He/she is a member of the company's Board of Directors or can in fact be the Chairman of the board. Sorry, I'm not really good at explaining things. Basically Kai is one of the highest ranking officials in the company. Think Kaiba Seto from Yugiou.

Also to Quellesirel Peredhill, I'm pretty sure alright can be one word. In spell check it comes up fine. It could be however that since I'm British I use the Queen's English and it might be spelt differently from how it's spelt in America which happens with a lot of words. I might be wrong though, soI apologise if I am.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Beyblade.

Chapter Four: Awkward Situation

"What are you talking about?" asked Kai, his face filled with confusion.

"Well you're off work for a month, its summer and I have nothing better to do so I thought I'd come and live with ya." stated Tyson, innocently. "Plus it must get pretty lonely here by yourself."

"Um, Tyson you really don't need to-"

"I know that, but I want to." He replied with a wholehearted smile.

Kai frowned and eyed him suspiciously. Why was he here? To make sure that he wouldn't attempt to kill himself again? He could feel himself becoming angry with that thought. It was like Tyson was here to baby-sit him. He could take care of himself just fine; he was responsible for his own actions and didn't need someone watching him 24/7.

As he awoke from his thoughts he found Tyson staring at him just a few inches from his face. "Wah!" he jumped back a little. "What-what is it?" he asked, unable to hide the fact that Tyson had given him a shock, from his voice.

"Are you just gonna stand there phasing off all day or are you gonna help me with my bags?"

"Um, I'll have someone get those for you." He replied, using this as an opportunity to quickly run off.

He sighed and then frowned once he was out of Tyson's sight. What was wrong with him? Since when had he ever been so jumpy? Usually he could sense others presence with relative ease but Tyson had just completely caught him off guard.

He stood there for a few minutes, allowing himself time to retain his composure.

When he finally returned with someone, he found the navy haired boy staring around in total awe.

"Man, this place is huge! You could probably fit an amusement park in here!"

"I doubt that…"

Tyson had a huge grin on his face and Kai found himself even more perplexed. What had happened to the Tyson he had faced in the hospital? The one who had been so upset and who couldn't stop crying? It was almost as if the boy was…

"So feel like giving me the grand tour?" asked Tyson. Prodding Kai lightly on the shoulder.

He was once again awoken from his thoughts by the boy.

"Well?"

"There's nothing really interesting."

"Liar! In a house this huge there must be a million things to see! Now come one!" Before he even had the chance to protest Tyson had grabbed hold of his hand and he was now being dragged off by him. "I want to see everything!"

Kai felt a strange surge rush through his body as Tyson held his hand. Why? Why did he feel like this? Why did everything seem so different lately?

* * *

It took a couple hours to get around the entire house; although it wouldn't have actually taken that long if Tyson hadn't stopped to look at absolutely 'everything'. In Kai's opinion however there really was nothing worth seeing.

"This is awesome! I can't believe how many rooms there are!"

Kai agreed with Tyson about the room part. The house had a scary number of rooms, so many that even he hadn't been in all of them.

"Hey Kai, your house is really cool but why did you choose to live in one so big? Um, what I mean is if it's just you and some servants living here…"

"I inherited it. I merely live here for the sake of having somewhere to live." He replied emotionlessly.

"Ah, kind of like how I'll inherit the dojo from my Grandpa." He gave a small chuckle. "Hey instead of teaching kendo, I should turn it into a beyblade arena!"

The pale boy frowned slightly. _Unlike you, I had no desire to inherit all of this when my Grandfather died. _

As they exited the room they were in, Tyson looked about eager for more. "So what else is there to see?" he asked curiously.

"That's it." Kai stated, glad that it was finally over.

"Hey, what about that room over there?" asked the smaller boy excited, pointing and quickly rushing over to it.

"Wait!" he yelled, but the boy had already gone inside.

The room was in complete darkness. When Tyson finally came across a light switch he jumped backwards as soon as the room lit up. Looking down on him were huge life size portraits of scary-looking, bitter old men.

He jumped once again as someone grasped on to his arm. He gave a small yelp, but calmed as soon as he realised that it was only Kai.

"Come on, let's go." He said, lightly tugging at him.

"Kai, what is this place?"

"It's nothing now lets-"

"Hey isn't that your Grandfather?" The smaller boy asked pointing to the portrait directly above them. Kai didn't answer him. Glancing around, Tyson saw that they all had the surname Hiwatari written on the plate below along with their dates of birth and death. "Hiwatari, so these guys are your family?"

"'Were' my family. They're all dead. The company I'm running has been in our family for generations. All these portraits are of ancestors who previously ran the company."

Tyson sweatdropped and backed away from the portrait of Kai's Grandfather who appeared to be glaring at him evilly. "They look scary…"

"Anyway, let's go." stated Kai as he started to walk away.

"You run the company now so why isn't there a portrait of you up there?" asked Tyson curiously.

He stopped and snorted feeling somewhat offended. "You really think I want a picture of myself up there with those guys?"

"Kai…"

The crimson eyed boy sighed and walked out of the room.

Frowning, Tyson took one final glance at the portraits and quickly hurried out after him.

A short while pasted since they had exited the room and Kai had remained silent since then. Okay, it wasn't like he talked that much anyway but still, Tyson could tell there was something bothering the boy. He was aware that Kai had many issues with his Grandfather and after what the man had put him through who could blame him?

He couldn't help but feel responsible for his friends silence and the last thing he needed was for Kai to be angry with him. He quickly shook his head, trying to snap out of his brooding thoughts. _No, I came here to help cheer him up and that's just what I'm gonna do! _

"Hey, you know, Kai, all your relatives in those paintings look scary and ugly, but you um look much better!"

The boy gave him a weird look.

_Ah! What the hell am I saying! How's that supposed to cheer him up?_

"Um, what I mean is to say you look really nice! No, wait I mean compared to those old guys!" he spluttered. Yes he had no idea what he was doing. "Although I guess anyone looks good compared to those guys. Uh, not that you only look good when compared to them of course! You look great in general! Hahaha!"

A sweatdrop hung from both of their heads.

"Hey where's the bathroom?" asked Tyson, still laughing and scratching the back of his head.

"There's one just down the hall."

"Right!" And with that he rushed off at the speed of light.

The blue haired boy stood there dumbfounded. "I wonder if he ate something bad before he came here…"

Looking in the mirror Tyson saw that his face was bright red - not that he didn't know of this already course as he could practically feel his face burning.

He sighed and sat down on the toilet seat. _What is wrong with me? I say stupid stuff all the time but…When I'm with Kai I don't like saying things like that. And now the truth is I have no idea what to say to him anymore after what happened. I don't want to accidentally say something that will make him unhappy like I just did. I wonder if there's anything I can do to cheer him up…_

He let out another sigh. _I guess I really didn't think this through. Still…I do want to be near him. _

* * *

Tyson happily munched on his food as he sat at one of those extremely long stereotypical tables which large house like this always seemed to have. He refused however to have Kai sitting way over at the opposite end of the table claiming that he actually wanted to talk to him during dinner. When the other boy had pointed out that he would be too busy eating, he smiled and replied saying that he could eat and talk at the same time, something which gained him a rather disdainful look.

Despite how much he was enjoying the food, he couldn't help but feel disappointed about the silence which was still continuing between him Kai. He knew it was his own fault things were like this, but he had no idea what to say or how to act. He let out a groan forgetting that he had a large amount of food stuffed in his mouth at the same time, almost causing him to choke.

"I told you not to shove so much food in your mouth at the same time. You do realise when you swallow the rest of you food will still be waiting for you on the plate." lectured the other boy.

"Yeah! Yeah! I know! I know!" he yelled back, still recovering.

Looking over at Kai and noticing his plate, it was clear that the other boy certainly didn't share his enthusiasm for food. He had barely touched anything.

_Make conversation! Make conversation! _"Oh yeah, I forgot to say early, Rei told me to tell you good bye for him just before he returned to China."

"Oh." said Kai simply. He really didn't know what to say.

"He's really worried about you, you know. In fact it was his idea that I should come and stay for the summer.

The red-eyed boy frowned. So Tyson hadn't come here of his own accord. He couldn't help but feel a great amount of disdain towards the Chinese blader at that moment. How dare he interfere with his business and put stupid ideas in Tyson's head?

"Kai?"

He quickly awoke from his thoughts. "Huh?"

"Are you alright?" the navy-haired boy asked worried.

"Um, yes, I'm fine." Thankfully Tyson seemed satisfied with this answer and nodded.

"Oh and Max says hello from America." It seemed that the half-Japanese, half-American boy had been unable to come and visit at the last minute due to his Mother's busy schedule and had decided to remain and help out.

"He misses you and says that he hopes you get better." Suddenly there was a small thud as Kai's fork fell to the floor.

"Ka-Kai?"

"Sorry, it slipped." He replied monotonously.

"Are you sure you're all right?" the smaller boy asked again, now quite worried.

"I'm just tired. I think I'll go to bed now." He said getting up. He was avoiding eye-contact with the other boy.

"Oh…" Tyson stared down at the table, trying to hide his disappointment.

"When you're finished eating someone will show you to your room." With that he started to walk away leaving the other boy alone.

When Kai reached his room, he had to hold back the urge to scream. So now Max knew? Why didn't they just broadcast it over television! Oh wait, it had been… But that had just been a local channel and it was only because he owned one of the largest companies in the area. Nonetheless, they had absolutely no right to tell Max. Sure he was one of his ex-teammates but that was beside the point.

He let his body fall backwards on to the bed and repressed a sigh knowing that if he opened his mouth he would probably end up screaming instead. No doubt Mr. Dickson and the others would know. He gritted his teeth praying that he would never have to see any of them again. He wouldn't be able to stand the pitying looks they were bound to give him. Even Tyson pitied him. Every time he looked at the navy haired boy he could see it in his eyes. He hated it. He wanted to kill everyone who had ever shown him it. After all what right did they have to pity him? They were just as weak as he was, weren't they?

_No they aren't…_

The answer echoed in his mind. Their lives had meaning. They could handle reality and when things got too much they still managed to persevere and get through it. Reality for him on the other hand was too difficult to face and when things seemed bad he turned to suicide. The weight of this sudden conclusion was crushing him. He felt as if some unknown force had penetrated his body, wrapped itself around his insides and was attempting to crush him.

When? When had he become so weak? He had once been so strong, so powerful… His demeanour had scared people. And now…and now he was reduce to this…

He wrapped his arms around himself. God, it hurt so much. How could he possibly go from feeling absolutely nothing to this? Why? Why was this happening to him?

**Authors Notes: **Thank you for reading. I hope this chapter was okay. Any reviews or advice on how I could improve are greatly appreciated.


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